Sunday, August 29, 2010

Ready or not week, here we come!

Momma tiff put it out there, put it all out there!!!I don't know if Saturday is what Nora needed, but Saturday was what I needed, for sure! Nora didn't want to talk - or deal (she was a-okay, you know)- but her therapist had her NUMMMMBBBBEERRRRRR!!! I had tipped Nora's therapist off that last week was a rough one...she gave me the option of going in with her, and then, she let me stay. And I told on Nora. Oh, yes I did...We're not EVEN avoiding the awkward stuff - OR the SUPER bad attitude. And I tried not to leave much out as far as categories of things we're cycling through because I wanted her Dr. to grasp the scope of the issue during a week like last...And Nora yawned and yawned and fiddled and played with stuff and looked the other way and pretty much, tried to act like she was a-okay (and then she'd admit maybe not).

So, Nora has homework this week - an exposure she'll have to conduct every day, away from home and have some honor system with. If she can be accountable next week about this, it will be HUGE progress! She'll be reclaiming a huge freedom back (she thinks she isn't avoiding this but oh, she is!!!) She seems to be able to grab a door handle or put her hand on her chest waaaay too easily that she isn't reteaching her brain as much as this will certainly do.

Can we all hide in a bunker and order in Chinese every day so we can cope around the not-so-pleasant side effects of battling the bully??@@@!!!! I think we'd all like to sometimes and I KNOW sometimes Nora would too!

Friday, August 27, 2010

just feelings a bit ovewhelmed

Here's a mom stress moment...notice it is super late at night and I'm awake, which I probably shouldn't be! I started making a list of what to discuss with Nora's therapist tomorrow and the list is sooo long, so that makes me wonder what priorities are, or how I can tell what matters?
- handwashing & sanitizing
- bad thoughts
- repetitive praying and/or saying amen
- reassuring herself
- missing me when i'm gone - worried about something happening
- faucets, some door knobs
- ANGER over the most minor things, and can be physical - especially if she's tired so off to bed she goes
- bathing/tooth brushing
- overwhelmed feelings
- anxious school thoughts (there's more here but she's not talking)
- restrooms
- clothing and body
- akward scenarios

we're so new with therapy I feel like we need her therapist to move in! If i'm not reassuring her, she reassures herself, if it isn't that, it is something else or she's relentlessly teasing someone or freaking out that they're in her space or pestering her, it feels like an exhausting battle - which she says she's tired all the time and I think I get what she means...darn bully!!!! Oh, and she's a 10 year old girl so some of this might just be normal pre-teen hormone drama...lucky, lucky us! - probably why my mom thinks I need to go to a support group, then I can talk this out with them instead of trying to figure everything out myself!
I do have a coffee with an aquaintance who has OCD - we don't know each other very well yet but I look forward to seeing her and she offered to chat. AND one of my girlfriends has a son with OCD i think - perhaps she'll be open to getting together too - this is tough and therapy is for Nora not for us!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Really, NO parent OCD group around town?! hmmm, that might have to change!

Hi! Does anyone know of an online or in-person OCD parent or parent&kid group? I'd love to start compiling a list as a resource...I'm in KC but I don't care WHERE you are! Let's get the word out there!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The only thing i've noticed so far.....SANITIZER!!!!

ummm, here's a quote from nora's teacher, made me say UT OH - big time UT OH!
Hand sanitizerImage via Wikipedia

"They only thing I have noticed Nora doing today was wanting to use hand sanitizer alot. She's a great young lady and doesn't disturb anyone when she gets up to do it. I would be curious if this is something you would like me to ask her not to do, OR is it okay that she's doing it." from Nora's new 5th grade teacher...(we haven't had a school meeting yet, they thought observing her for a couple weeks would be better, arrggghhh this is why it isn't better!!!)

EEEEK!!! hand sanitizer huh? not disturb anyone? of course not! she wants a free pass to move about the room, if she thought she could keep a bottle on her desk she'd probably dispense of it within a day - and definitely within a should see how fast our downstairs bathroom goes through hand soap at the house! this is like the seatbelt sign on a plane, OCD, you are now free to take over classtime.

So tonight, before bed, we were talking about school and I discovered she's sanitizing a BUNCH! I'm not even sure her teacher still knows it - because in order to stop it you have to notice it!!! oh, and she's washing hands multiple times, maybe in a row, if not, she's washing for particular scenarios...I again, went over the hand washing rules - she knows them - except...following them is a different story isn't it!

THEN....she told me she had a minor incident on the playground which afforded her a trip to the nurse's office...NOOOOOOOOO not the nurses office!!! and it was sneaky - any other kid would gladly have EARNED that trip to see the school nurse for this incident but NOT NORA!!!! - she involved an unsuspecting teacher in this case...i think an ID band might be in order, if this child asks for a trip to a nurses office, please look for gaping wounds or a SUPER UBER obvious reason for her to be there. if the reason appears to be in question, IN ANY WAY, please send her to her classroom for further evaluation - if her story sounds plausible, ask for evidence, if you don't know her well enough to ask for evidence and evidence isn't obvious, please find her normal teacher and allow her to make this decision instead. The nurse is like winning the ultimate OCD prize - not sure if OCD knows it yet but her "incident" was in OCDs latest bag of tricks for sure! 

this was the first nurse trip for the year but if i know anything so far this won't be the last for sure!!! funny thing is, her therapist and i discussed how NOT being sent there was important and then her teacher and i discussed it at parent night the NIGHT before!!!!

we have another therapy appt. this weekend - i need to journal this stuff so my scatterbrained mind doesn't forget because Nora's sure not going to reveal this week if she thinks she can help it I bet!!!

this posting doesn't even go into life at home...its like she's obsessing and compulsively teasing, pestering, reacting to her sisters but i don't know if that is a reaction to other troubles or what, this bully is tricky tricky i tell you!

oh, and i was trying to tickle her tonight - hardy har har she didn't say! (at least they'll have something to work on for exposure therapy)

now she's sleeping - as well she should be!!!! new day tomorrow!
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Friday, August 13, 2010

Oh Tricky Little OCD - you'll just obsess about anything won't you?!!

OCD = Obsessing and then Compulsively doing things to relieve the obsession...seems pretty straight forward, right?

Here's the scenario: Girls go to county fair (which we won a blue and red ribbon for a pie contest at, woot woot). Nora loves the animals. Girls return to county fair...Nora gets to see animals again, still loving the animals. Girls have plans to go to Demolition Derby at county fair, Nora looks forward to seeing the animals again. Girls get good seats for Derby, Nora doesn't get to see animals. Nora asks for the time, and when can we go see those animals? Nora starts saying she's bored with derby, and what time is it and when can she see the animals? Nora watches a bit more of the derby and asks yet again, when can she see the animals...Husband gets frusterated - they have great seats and the girls have never been to the derby before, the crashes are awesome and hadn't they seen the animals at least twice so far? Nora, asks for time, and when can she see the animals...(over and over and over) night almost ends, husband and girls walk through to see the animals..come home, husband is spent, Nora is happy.

Husband tells me story when they arrive home, he's frazzled - all she wanted to do was see the animals. Me? I mention, umm honey, it sounds like she was obsessing about the animals and couldn't get it out of her head. She told ME all about the cars she saw and that it seemed like she had a good time. Husband has a OH, DUH, OF COURSE!!!! she was plainly obsessing about the animals, couldn't get it off her mind, had a complete pattern to scenario...Obsessive - Compulsive pattern and it was easier seen hindsight than in the moment - but then seeing the animals wouldn't have actually made things better now would it?