Friday, August 27, 2010

just feelings a bit ovewhelmed

Here's a mom stress moment...notice it is super late at night and I'm awake, which I probably shouldn't be! I started making a list of what to discuss with Nora's therapist tomorrow and the list is sooo long, so that makes me wonder what priorities are, or how I can tell what matters?
- handwashing & sanitizing
- bad thoughts
- repetitive praying and/or saying amen
- reassuring herself
- missing me when i'm gone - worried about something happening
- faucets, some door knobs
- ANGER over the most minor things, and can be physical - especially if she's tired so off to bed she goes
- bathing/tooth brushing
- overwhelmed feelings
- anxious school thoughts (there's more here but she's not talking)
- restrooms
- clothing and body
- akward scenarios

we're so new with therapy I feel like we need her therapist to move in! If i'm not reassuring her, she reassures herself, if it isn't that, it is something else or she's relentlessly teasing someone or freaking out that they're in her space or pestering her, it feels like an exhausting battle - which she says she's tired all the time and I think I get what she means...darn bully!!!! Oh, and she's a 10 year old girl so some of this might just be normal pre-teen hormone drama...lucky, lucky us! - probably why my mom thinks I need to go to a support group, then I can talk this out with them instead of trying to figure everything out myself!
I do have a coffee with an aquaintance who has OCD - we don't know each other very well yet but I look forward to seeing her and she offered to chat. AND one of my girlfriends has a son with OCD i think - perhaps she'll be open to getting together too - this is tough and therapy is for Nora not for us!


  1. I feel so much for you and your daughter, and I can relate to several of the symptoms you mention here! I grew up with OCD without really having a good idea of what was wrong with me. I overcame some episodes on my own, but would then fall into a different OCD trap later on. I was finally diagnosed a year ago after having a pretty severe relapse (I'm in my twenties now), and I am so thankful to finally know what was "wrong" with me.

    I think it is GREAT that you have found help for your daughter so soon in life! My mother also took me in to see a therapist when I was about your daughter's age. Unfortunately, I think there was less awareness of OCD and how to treat it back then than there is now, and I'm not sure the therapist I was taken to knew how to help me. On top of that I was really reluctant to talk and wouldn't open up much about what was going on inside my head, partly out of fear, partly because I was really really embarrassed. So, as much as my mom did everything she could, my lack of cooperation and the circumstances didn't help. I wasn't diagnosed and my OCD continued on. I wish I had known then what I know now - that there were others out there like me with strange thoughts and a need to perform compulsions. I don't regret not getting diagnosed sooner because I now have such a wonderful therapist, but there is really no need for anyone to suffer when there is help that works out there!

    I guess my point is that I think that finding a CBT therapist with experience in treating OCD is really a key step in overcoming the disorder, and it sounds like you have done just that for your daughter. That's wonderful!

    Feel free to email me ( if you ever want to talk more! I am still in the process of learning how to manage my own OCD, but I have been there, both as a child and now as an adult. I know what it's like and over the last year I have spent a lot of time learning about the disorder as I have fought to win my battle with OCD.

    I wish you and your daughter the best! I'll be following your blog! :)

    -Fellow Sufferer

  2. So, how did the appointment go? Did you get any answers?